Does my Android phone need a task killer app?

Many blogs out there have been saying task killers are not necessary or they're evil. Yet they're some of the most popular apps in the Android Market. So your average user is left wondering. Do I really need a task killer app?

You bet your sweet mama's ass you do.

See, all Android phones have limited amounts of memory or system RAM that is used to run the OS and applications. Every time you run an application, it sucks your precious RAM and makes your phone slower. Android is simply not smart enough to start closing apps in the background to make room for the currently running app. This is why you must open your task killer and kill your apps immediately after you're done with them. It's been said that there's a time and place for task killers, such as when an app causes your phone to freeze or the app won't respond. This is usually when the app is doing something super important. Like when Words With Friends is shuffling tiles. You shouldn't kill the app in this case, just let it do its thing and go make some toast or a bagel while you wait.

Look at all those apps sucking RAM!

Auto refreshing apps such as Twitter and Facebook are the worst hogs of your phone's memory, so you must kill the app right after you use it. Sure, you won't get any background notifications, but your phone will run infinitely faster. Another big memory sucker is the task killer app itself. So you should probably download multiple task killing apps so after you kill all your tasks, you can kill the task killer. Yo dawg, Xzibit would approve.

But you might be thinking to yourself. If task killers are so important, why aren't they included on the phone in the first place? Well, see phone companies are evil. They want your phone to eventually run so slow you have to bring it in for service or buy a new phone. The slower your phone, the less you can actually do with it, so you're not using their precious network resources that you paid for. Don't let the evil phone company get the best of you. Go download a task killer app today!